Logan

We are still looking for a job and we're willing to go great lengths to try to find one. How great of lengths? How about a two hour drive and two night stay? :) We didn't decide until Monday that we were going and Tuesday we were off!

We really, really enjoyed hanging out with all of our Logan cousins! :) Emily and Gracie had a ball playing with Karina and Jake and Cita and Allie! Becca loved all the loves she got! Could Bella be any cuter?! It was fun for Geoff and I to have adult friends to talk to and hang out with, too. We miss that-- A LOT!!

We stayed at Chez Lichfield and the accommodations were mighty nice! :) Heather and Adam were very good hosts and it was nice to have a place to crash that had a separate room for the kids and didn't cost much more than the price of a few dishes washed! ;) We had so much fun!! I love the stadium seating couches! I am wondering if I can get away with that somewhere! :) Our little bed bug Gracie slept with us the second night since every time we got near her bed in the other room she screamed so loud, I was sure she would wake up the neighbors, hard of hearing or not! So, we put her between us on the mattress in the living room and I thought we all went to sleep. In the middle of the night, I wake up and... no Gracie! "Geoff! Geoff! Where's Gracie?!" We look over the top of the bed and there she is, asleep on the floor, no blankie, just got out of bed, played with the luggage tag for a while and then crashed right there on the floor! Weirdo. :)

The job fair that we went up for, wasn't all that fruitful, but it does only take one great job offer to have a job! :) We're still hoping to have some results from it in some form or another. Geoff talked Josh into going with him and they had fun collecting the strange stuff people give away to get you to come to their booth. We're still not sure who they pick in their company to go sit in a booth and say, "I dunno, maybe you should check our website." Geoff did give out a few resumes and has a little pile of websites to check out, so you never know! And meantime we had a lot of fun!

Our prayers are with Stephen and Stacey and their little family. We hope you feel better soon and we know that there are lots of angels hanging out at your house! Thanks to Josh and Ingrid for letting us party at your house! Emily and Karina are the dress up divas! I can't believe we got out of there without any pictures of them! Next time, we're bringing the video camera!! ;) Ingridcita, you are one amazing, beautiful, talented girl! Brian, Kara and Kaylynn, I'm sorry our trip landed on your busy "piano lessons in Salt Lake" day! I'm glad we got to chat with Kara and her baby that's coming in the best month there is!! ;) I would say that if you had your baby on the 7th, would you name him after me, but I suppose a boy named Diana is a little strange! :) A big, huge THANK YOU to Adam and Heather for letting us sleep in your extra beds and eat your food and best of all, play your Sims!! Your kind deeds will not be soon forgotten! Especially the Sims because you know, past food and sleep, it's one of my favorite things to do! ;) Thanks to all for a trip that was T, double E, double R, double I, double F, double I, double C-C-C!! :) :)

A Lesson in Faith

I received from a friend:
Mother of A "Special" Child

When I was young, I'd often say, I'd like to be a mom someday
While playing with my baby doll, I thought that jobs not hard at all
I'd have a baby, maybe two, a girl in pink...a boy in blue
Well I grew up and sure enough,
The baby that was sent to me, was born with disabilities
At first I'm frightened through and through, there's much to learn to care for you
This wasn't in my plans at all, when I was young and played with dolls
Your mind and body were so weak, you might not ever walk or speak
So much special care required, I'm often scared and often tired
As months and years go slowly by, I smile a lot but sometimes cry
To watch you grow and not complain, though you endure your share of pain
Oh, how I'd hold you and I'd pray, that you'd be healed and whole someday
But I knew that was not to be, not physically or mentally
And so I taught you best I could, your progress wasn't very good
But then one day I realized, a I gazed into your loving eyes
That I had learned so much from you, determination...courage too
A love so unconditional, it floods my soul and always will
I'm proud to say I gave you birth, for you're an angel here on earth.

My response:
It's kind of funny because I get a lot of comments like, "I don't know how you do it, I could never do all that." To be honest, I have no idea how I do it either, I just know I have to and that Heavenly Father helps me so much along the way that I don't feel overwhelmed with it most of the time. I have a totally different paradigm and way to look at things than just about everybody else I know, though. Living with disabilities, etc. every day is so different from a lot of people's lives, but SO my life. Does that make sense? I know I don't make sense to a lot of people, I didn't think when I was playing with my dolls or babysitting or sitting in Child Development class that it would be this way. It's weird to even try to picture "the other" way because that will never be my life. I have a hard time even understanding a family with 4 children 2 years apart because I couldn't possibly do that. Let's say I was already expecting so that the new baby would arrive when Gracie was just past 2 years old. That would mean 3 kids in diapers (again) and 2 that don't walk, plus 2 that do- in different directions! :) I have to remember that families that do that, usually have an oldest who is responsible and tall enough to hold the hand of a younger sibling in a parking lot, one or two who obey and understand punishment enough not to have a meltdown in the grocery store over a treat. I really don't feel like a Mom with 6 years of experience. I have 6 years of experience with babies, but I'm only qualified with 3 years of experience in other things that so far I've only done once, such as potty training and punishing, etc.

I love my life- so much! I don't always understand my positive outlook except to say that Heavenly Father blesses me abundantly every day and that balances out the challenges that come along with this territory I am navigating. I will probably never hear Becca say, "Mama, I love you!" but I know that she does and I know she knows that I love her and that's what I have to go on until the millennium. Someone also once told me that they didn't understand why I seem to have so much faith. I don't know how to live any other way. Becca proves to me every day that the spirit inside her body needs to be here so badly that even though it has to live in a body that doesn't work properly, she is still able to find joy in her life. How can I, with all of my brain capacity, etc. not have faith when I am witness to Spiritual happenings every single day?

Wow! Didn't know I had all that in me! :)

The Genesis of Utahkids

So, do you really want to know how the Utahkids list got started? Val is spot on when she says it is inspired.

The setting is this, an Aggie Village student family housing apartment in Logan, UT. A family lives there with their brand new baby daughter, Rebecca. Rebecca has many difficulties, but isn't now in th hospital and now her parents are meeting lots and lots of Early Intervention workers and trying to squeeze out room in their tiny apartment to help Rebecca to be able to receive services. As the mother, Diana, meets all of these people and starts to learn how to best care for her angel Rebecca, she feels hopeful and looks forward to learning more about her daughter as well as connecting with other parents of special kids not unlike hers. Word traveled fast as the therapists learned that Diana was not only doing the therapies they recommended for her daughter ;), but that she wanted to meet other parents.

Meanwhile, there was a group in Salt Lake called the ICC Inter-agency Coordinating Council who met with representatives from E.I., Pre-school, Babywatch, medical fields, etc. They wanted to make transitions smoother and help inform parents of their desire to help them without overwhelming them with too many things all at once. So, the idea came to them to include parents in their planning processes. They wanted to have a group of parents as members of their council to help them direct their goals and services and give input on what those services mean to a family. So, they talked to their Early Intervention programs, etc. asking for recommendations of parents that would be willing to meet with their committee.

Somehow, some way, Diana was asked to be part of this committee. Well, it just so happened that Diana's husband, Geoff, was just about to graduate with his Bachelor's degree and they were planning to move to Tooele. This made it possible for Diana to accept the invitation to be part of the committee and be able to drive to Salt Lake from Tooele instead of from Logan to attend meetings. They moved into Geoff's aunt's house and although they went a year and a half without a job at first, they started their E.I. services in Tooele and Diana was all set to attend the meetings. One day, she was standing in the kitchen of their rented-from-family home when Diana got a call from Janet who was not only already part of the committee, but also coordinating parents to come to the meetings. It was there in the kitchen that Diana listened to Janet's desire to find a way for parents all over the state to be able to connect and meet each other. Maybe we could set up meetings in the Health Department building for them to come and mingle and meet. That's a great idea, Diana thought, but some of those kids are going to have a really hard time traveling. And besides that, some parents won't be able to bring the kids that are confined to their homes or even hospitals sometimes. That's when the inspiration came, that the Internet offered a way for any parent, anywhere in Utah with even periodic access to a computer could connect, talk and include people from all over. Diana, at the time, wasn't even sure how that would happen, but Geoff did. He knew how to set up the group under Yahoo and how to invite the first few people.

It was really slow at first. Here and there people wrote in and Diana reported to the council that almost 10 people were signed up, then the next month we were past 20. On and on it went until there were not only people signing up and watching the group, but people writing in to the group and connecting and building friendships and supporting each other.

I could never have known where it would go from there. I couldn't have pictured all of the faces I have met since then that have changed my life. I am so grateful for Janet and that committee that helped find us few parents and from there, meeting more and more parents. I went to a retreat in Park City with other parents and groups of people from the Early Intervention groups in 5 or 6 states when Emily was 2 weeks old. :) I have loved being involved and as my kids grow and get more rambunctious and it's harder for me to attend meetings, I am so glad to have already forged that connection. How many of us have come here in the middle of the night and then had many warm responses the very next day?

So there you have it! I was part of a team of people who put it together, really. You all have made it what it is today.

Lots of love!
Diana

FLYbaby

I'm dressed to the shoes and I have make up on and I fixed my hair- for the second day in a row! My sinks are clean to the bottom and so shiny, I can practically see my reflection in them. I have to write this down in hopes that I'll be able to keep it up.

My house and it's cleanliness seem to reflect me. When it is extrememely messy, as it has wont to be lately, that's how it makes me feel- messed up. ;) Lately, I have been crashing into bed barely taking care of myself and staying up way too late which leaves me feling exhausted the next morning which leaves me with a feeling of uncaring which leads to an even messier house. It's a vicious cycle that I swore I would never repeat when my hubby bought me this nice, new house.

What I really needed was housecleaning therapy. It isn't as if I don't know HOW to do it, I have a degree in Family and Consumer Sciences (Home Ec.) for crying out loud! It's not like I have an evil facsination with watching the tub get slimy, it just happens and I need help. Enter a website. Can a website scrub a toilet? No, but it gives me the confidence to do so. Can a website wash dishes? No, but it encourages me to get to the bottom of the sink every night so the next morning my shiny sinks are the first thing I see. Can a website make me look more beautiful to myself? No, but it can help me make rules for myself about getting all the way dressed (no sweats allowed!), fixing my hair and applying make up.

The last two days, I have walked out of my bedroom taller (those that know me are asking, can she get any taller than 6 feet?) and feeling much better about myself. When I walk through the messy living room to the kitchen with shiny sinks, I think, hey, that's clean, maybe I'll clean something else to go with it!

So, what is this miracle website? It's flylady.net, of course! And the best part about it is that FLY stands for Finally Loving Yourself and I so am! :) I can do this. I can make it a habit. I can do ANYTHING for 15 minutes at a time! :) :)

Learning how to FLY in Tooele! :)

Christmas Day

"Good morning, Emily! Merry Christmas! Did Santa come last night?"

"I don't know, I'll go check!" She runs out of the room and instead of running into the living room where we left the stockings sitting with care on the couch and a paper plate of clumsily frosted coookies, she runs to her room to look out the window. "I don't see him, Mommy!" she says looking straight up.

"Let's go see if he ate your cookies and milk."

Emily runs right past all of Santa's gifts to the cookies and jumps up and down. "He did! He ate the cookies and the milk!!" Not until it is pointed out to her does she noticed the bow-topped presents sitting in front of the stockings. "Wow!"

Using an advantage we will probably never have again, we tell her that Santa wrapped them so that they would stay a surprise until after going to Church and surprisingly this works! She gets to eat the mini box of Lucky Charms Santa left in her stocking. Well, actually he left it in Becca's stocking, but she didn't mind trading for Trix since she would only be able to eat them crushed and mixed with yogurt anyway. :)

One hour of church was harder to get through than 3, I thought. There was no promising "you get to go to class with your friends in 10 more minutes," or threats "you won't get to go to class with your friends if you don't settle down!" There was mostly pleading, "please sit still and be quiet so Mommy can hear the beautiful music." I didn't mind making it a priority however, He is after all, the reason for this season.

After Church, we were thrilled to find that even though Santa didn't bring us an attic or a princess bedroom, that he brought exactly all the right things. His helpers even brought magic to the grown up kids in our family and we are so thankful for thoughtful friends who blessed us with their generous spirits and giving hearts. Thank you! You made 3 little princesses and two grown ups a very nice Christmas when there wasn't much of one before. Thank Heaven for friends like you-- all of you!

We all took turns opening gifts even though it was hard to wait sometimes. It didn't take long to realize, though, how much fun it is to give gifts to others and see how happy it makes them, too. Over all, we shared really well and didn't have any major melt downs or fights. Yay! :)

Now Emily and I sit on this relaxing Sunday while Gracie and Becca nap having a conversation about which to do first, play doh or puzzles while we eat our lunch. :) Most, if not all, of the presents that didn't come from our Secret Santa Helpers came from the dollar store, but you know what? She loves them, too! And I really don't think they realize how tight things get and they're happy all the same.

So, whether your Christmas came from Dillards or the Dollar Store, I hope you had a glorious time with your loved ones and are feeling happy and content. I am. :)

So much love!!!
Diana, Geoff, Rebecca, Emily and Gracie
Merry Christmas!

Constipation Consternation

Okay, we usually have such smooth sailing that I don't usually get the chance to rant and rave. Thank goodness! :) But today I almost ended up in the ER and I'm feeling the need to vent.

Becca has another UTI and is on antibiotics. Well, if you know anything about UTIs, you know you're supposed to drink a lot! Well, try telling that to a little girl who drinks when she's thirsty and is done when she is done. We've been doing pretty good as long as I have a variety of liquids to give her. Anyway, we ended up with constipation, which is not really a big surprise, it's something we deal with all the time, but today her abdomen was swollen and every time I pressed there, she winced like it hurt really bad. (Don't worry, I stopped once I saw that it hurt!) So, I do what I normally do to get it out and nothing was working and she was in pain. So, I try calling the doctor and or nurse and of course they're at lunch, so I call my SIL and make a plan to leave the little girls with her and run to the ER. Then I called DH to tell him what's going on and he doesn't want me to go to the ER first because we're still paying on our last visit there, but this time she's on Medicaid. Money's not a good enough reason for me and he's like, they're just going to put on a glove and do what you could do at home, so just do it. My first reaction was to freak out, naturally, so I'm crying that there's something really wrong and I need to DO something and that just didn't seem like the thing to do and I was just a basket case. So, I decided I needed to calm down above all else, so I went in my room and hit my knees. As I'm praying, I can feel the anxiety drain right out of me and pretty soon I'm taking deep breaths instead of short, nervous ones and I feel much more ready to face the situation. So, I get out a glove, new diaper, wipes, everything and lo and behold! she was already done!

Now she's laying on the floor watching Care Bears with Emily and you wouldn't know a crazy lady lives here! :)

Dirty Nasty Dishes

I hate doing dishes more than anything else in the world. My sinks are both full, we're out of bowls and down to one or two of everything else. I'm sitting her wishing that my 3 year old could do them, how awful is that? I hate how they stink. I hate, hate, hate how they feel. There is no feeling worse to me in all the world than slimy silverware. I hate how they look all gross and not clean. UG! So, what is my solution? I don't know, I don't have one.

I do really well in spurts. Even just before Thanksgiving, which was at my house this year, and for a while afterwards I did really well! Then I got a really bad cold and lost my voice and didn't feel like doing them. I have a lot of reasons (i.e. excuses) for not getting them done, but mostly they come down to the fact that I would MUCH rather be doing something else! The thing that works the best with me is a reward system. I love to sew almost as much as breathing, so I don't let myself go down to sew unless there is at least a load of dishes in the dishwasher. (I know, you're shocked that I'm still complaining even though I don't even have to wash them by hand!) I also love to play the Sims which is also a good reward to me, plus, my computer is now in the kitchen, so I can actually catch the dishes right as they get done and theoretically put them away and put in some more. However, one of my other favorite excuses is that they need time to air dry. I'm a pro at making excuses!

Well, as writing this has turned into my excuse this time, I shall excuse myself to go and do the dishes now that my tantrum is over. :)

In order to "get" this post, you first must know that we have 3 girls and only 3 girls and that the middle one is named Emily and she is currently 3 years old. That being said, here is today's Emily-ism.

"Mom, remember when I was a little girl? And I was 6 years old? Me and my brother made Apple Butter. (I was making Apple Butter at the time) My brother is 10 years old and he is deaf. Yeah, he can't hear, so we use sign language."

Pretty great imagination, this one. :)