"I've never been married to anyone for 9 years before." That's what my husband said yesterday morning as we woke up to our 9th Anniversary. I haven't either. I've never had nearly 4 kids with anyone else before either. :) When I step back and look at it that way, 9 years and 4 kids makes me feel really old. But I don't really feel old. I still feel like me. I still like root beer flavored popsicles. I still don't particularly like swimming. I still love to try fixing my hair in different ways. I still care a lot about what people think of me and getting dressed still has a lot to do with the "image" I want to portray. However, I'm not afraid of the dark anymore. I'm in charge of more people than just myself. I'm involved with large (in comparison) amounts of money by managing it and hopefully spending it wisely. I feed and clothe other (smaller) people than myself and help them through their fears of the dark or the water.
I never understood my Mother until I became one myself. I hear her words coming out of my mouth every single day and they make complete sense now. My girls have the same reactions I did to them back then, though. Eyes rolling, breath huffing out in an annoyed fashion, posture changing to that rounded back, defeated pose of one who has been asked to do something that they should have done long ago. I've induced more whining than I'd like to admit and it's WAY annoying! I shudder to think how my Mom must have felt listening to me do that.
I must say just about the greatest feeling in the world is being the person that tearful eyes search for at the park... the one that gets all kinds of hugs and kisses and countless snuggles when a little one is having a hard day... the recipient of excited phrases spoken in triumph when a goal is finally reached. There's really no other feeling greater than being called "Mommy."
I turned 30 this year... something else I never actually visualized doing. Not that I thought that I wouldn't, but that it seemed so far away! Now it's here and it happened so slowly, I didn't even notice. My 4th child is due in 9 more days and assuming everything goes well, we will finally have our boy! I am beyond excited! I guess I'm one of those people that is happy and excited a lot of the time because I feel like NOW is the best time of my life and I remember having this feeling before! :) Life is SO meant to be enjoyed!