Wednesday, December 03, 2008

Guess what this list is...

One can of PediaSure
One dusty binky
Three socks
A stuffed fish
Seven receipts
A generic hot wheel car
Three lists
Two craft/fabric store ads
Two expired Medicaid cards
Three pens

Yep! You guessed it! This was what I cleaned out of my purse before filling it with books to entertain children at the doctor's office. :D I guess I have upgraded my purse to more of an activity bag with my planner/wallet thrown inside. It's a blessing and a curse... I can usually find something for someone to do, but that means I have carried it all around! Ever seen "One Fine Day?" :D

So, analyzing this list, what does my purse say about me? With that many old receipts, expired Medicaid cards and used up grocery lists, I'd say that I'm pretty disorganized... but I did attempt to clean it out, so maybe I'm only temporarily disorganized and I usually get around to getting things in order. :) Those 3 pens have been sorely missed! With budding artists in the house I can rarely find a writing utensil all to myself... I was pretty excited to find these. The binky, fish and the hot wheel car belong to the brudder in our family... who, I might add, is extremely easy to entertain! And obviously we have a blessing in our family that the Medicaid cards and PediaSure point to... Medicaid covers everything that regular insurance doesn't (just for her) and not every Mom can pump food straight into the belly of a difficult eater! :D

Even though the doctor was not fun (!!) we are hoping to get our Daddy feeling much better. And a big thank you to my Mom for the books that we brought and read together while we waited.

Saturday, November 15, 2008

Invisible Mom

This is an excerpt from Nicole Johnson's novel The Invisible Woman (W Publishing Group, 2005) For more information, check out the author's Web site at www.freshbrewedlife.com.

It all began to make sense, the blank stares, the lack of response, the way one of the kids will walk into the room while I'm on the phone and ask to be taken to the store. Inside I'm thinking, "Can't you see I'm on the phone?" Obviously not; no one can see if I'm on the phone, or cooking, or sweeping the floor, or even standing on my head in the corner, because no one can see me at all. I'm invisible. The invisible Mom.

Some days I am only a pair of hands, nothing more: Can you fix this? Can you tie this? Can you open this? Some days I'm not a pair of hands; I'm not even a human being. I'm a clock to ask, "What time is it?" I'm a satellite guide to answer, "What number is the Disney Channel?" I'm a car to order, "Right around 5:30, please." I was certain that these were the hands that once held books and the eyes that studied history and the mind that graduated summa cum laude - but now they had disappeared into the peanut butter, never to be seen again. She's going, she's going, she's gone!

One night, a group of us were having dinner, celebrating the return of a friend from England. Janice had just gotten back from a fabulous trip, and she was going on and on about the hotel she stayed in. I was sitting there, looking around at the others all put together so well. It was hard not to compare and feel sorry for myself as I looked down at my out-of-style dress; it was the only thing I could find that was clean. My unwashed hair was pulled up in a hair clip and I was afraid I could actually smell peanut butter in it. I was feeling pretty pathetic, when Janice turned to me with a beautifully wrapped package, and said, "I brought you this." It was a book on the great cathedrals of Europe. I wasn't exactly sure why she'd given it to me until I read her inscription: "To Carol , with admiration for the greatness of what you are building when no one sees."

In the days ahead I would read - no, devour - the book. And I would discover what would become for me, four life-changing truths, after which I could pattern my work: No one can say who built the great cathedrals - we have no record of their names. These builders gave their whole lives for a work they would never see finished. They made great sacrifices and expected no credit. The passion of their building was fueled by their faith that the eyes of God saw everything. A legendary story in the book told of a rich man who came to visit the cathedral while it was being built, and he saw a workman carving a tiny bird on the inside of a beam. He was puzzled and asked the man, "Why are you spending so much time carving that bird into a beam that will be covered by the roof? No one will ever see it." And the workman replied, "Because God sees."

I closed the book, feeling the missing piece fall into place. It was almost as if I heard God whispering to me, "I see you, Charlotte. I see the sacrifices you make every day, even when no one around you does. No act of kindness you've done, no sequin you've sewn on, no cupcake you've baked, is too small for me to notice and smile over. You are building a great cathedral, but you can't see right now what it will become."

At times, my invisibility feels like an affliction. But it is not a disease that is erasing my life. It is the cure for the disease of my own self-centeredness. It is the antidote to my strong, stubborn pride. I keep the right perspective when I see myself as a great builder. As one of the people who show up at a job that they will never see finished, to work on something that their name will never be on.

The writer of the book went so far as to say that no cathedrals could ever be built in our lifetime because there are so few people willing to sacrifice to that degree.
When I really think about it, I don't want my daughter to tell the friend she's bringing home from college for Thanksgiving, "My mom gets up at 4 in the morning and bakes homemade pies, and then she hand bastes a turkey for three hours and presses all the linens for the table." That would mean I'd built a shrine or a monument to myself. I just want her to want to come home. And then, if there is anything more to say to her friend, to add, "You're gonna love it there."

As mothers, we are building great cathedrals. We cannot be seen if we're doing it right. And one day, it is very possible that the world will marvel, not only at what we have built, but at the beauty that has been added to the world by the sacrifices of invisible women.

____....____

Thoughts from Diana: I can't tell you the times that I feel invisible, I felt invisible most of the day today. Pretty much everything I do goes unnoticed and unappreciated. I'm really only noticed for what I don't do... where's my clean pants? there aren't any clean spoons! BUT today Landon got back down off the fireplace (that was not running) when I asked him to- he's learning to obey. Gracie came and helped me clean up at Grandma's house- she's learning to do nice things for others. Emily read books every chance she got today- she's got my love for reading. Becca smiled when I changed her- that's pretty much all I need to feel good right there.

I know I'm making a difference. I can't see it right now for the most part, but the glimpses I get give me hope. I would rather be invisible and have my children grow up strong and good decision makers than to lose them in my shadow because I'm the only thing I think about. It's definitely the other way around most of the time and I'm working on not losing myself and doing things for myself that help me remember who I am and where I'm going.

I know that Heavenly Father watches out for me largely because of my children. He guides me to guide them and help them be who He sent them here to be. I especially could not be a good Mom to Becca without the subtle promptings I receive on her behalf. Same goes for Emily and Gracie and Landon!

Monday, November 03, 2008

10th Anniversary Present

Ladies and Gentlmen, let me introduce to you one of my favorite singers of all time...

Collin Raye!! From the second row!!!

Geoff took me to see Collin Raye at the Desert Star Theatre. It was amazing! I'm trying really hard to get past my speechlessness and find some words to describe this night for me, but I wanted to get some of it out while it is still so fresh. The first person I saw was a dear friend who just happens to work there! Bonus! I tried to describe the experience to her afterwards and could barely speak! We're in the 'Moms of kids with disabilities' club... we don't need mere words! ;)



If you've heard Collin Raye's songs you know he has a huge heart. Songs like "Love Me" and "I Think About You" (both of which he sang tonight!) have big meaning and a lot of emotion behind them. He also has fun songs like "That's My Story" and "That Kinda Girl" (he also sang those!) that aren't as heavy. He sang a cover song of the Beatles song "Here Comes the Sun (Little Darlin')" (I thought of you, Dad! ;) ) and the one written by Charlie Chaplin "Smile." He also sang "I Can Still Feel You" and I probably forgot a whole lot more! :)



Speaking of smiles, this guy has such an infectious smile!! I mean he's all teeth and happiness just radiates out of him! The man sitting next to us said he'd heard he's coming out with a Christian album, which doesn't surprise me at all. His faith in God comes out in so many of his songs. Faith, God and Country (as in the U.S.A. ;) ) are what so many country artists are all about. One of his songs was all about how Heavenly Father answers our prayers with what we need, not what we want... it's called "What I Need." :) iTunes has already been raided for that one!

There were a couple of songs that I didn't know that were from an album he called a 'collector's item.' Apparently, he was with Sony when he made it, but they disagreed about a lot of things and he was leaving Sony and was going to market the record through someone else. Well, Sony put it out anyway which means he didn't promote it since he wasn't with them anymore and he couldn't put it out the way he wanted to with is new company and Sony only put out a few of them. It had some really cool songs that I hadn't heard, so I think I may be surfing iTunes for those, too! ;)



A long time ago, in the early 90s, is probably when I fell in love with Collin Raye's music and when he was pretty much at a high point in his career. He did a video for his song "I Think About You" that was used by abused women organizations and things to earn money and stuff. In it, he talks about how when he sees women in crisis, etc. that he thinks about his little girl. At the time, his daughter was in the video with him when she was 8 years old... she was there tonight and sang a couple of songs with him... very cool! She's beautiful and has a very pretty voice.

If you've talked to me and let me ramble on about this famous man I've never met, you've heard me tell you that he has a granddaughter with disabilities. Tonight he said she has an undiagnosed neurologic disorder that basically took her away from them slowly. She was developing normally and then she just slowly started losing abilities, etc. She is 8 (I know, huh?!) and doesn't speak and uses a wheelchair, etc. He sang a song that he wrote for her and I of course cried all the way through it! I think it's called "She's With Me" and it will be on his new album. It starts off talking about how it is to take her in public and have people stare and he says "she's with me" and includes her in things anyway. He talks about how happy he is when "she's with me" and it ends with her being there to usher him through the gates of Heaven because "he's with me." My mother's heart sang right along with him and it was neat to hear words put to so many of the same emotions I feel.


It was an incredible night for me! This kind of music has always "spoken" to me and it was pretty amazing to be sitting only a few feet away and singing along and clapping and cheering. What an awesome 10th Anniversary present, Hubby! Thank you so, so much! I know, a thank you in a blog post... what could be better? I hope you know how much this meant to me and it was even better to be able to share it with you!

Thursday, October 09, 2008

Tagged by Paula

Rules: Put your answers in 'google image', pick from first three pages

First name: Diana


Middle Name: Darlene
Maiden Name:
Robert E. Lee
Last Name: Sagers
That's my baby Becca! She came up on the first page because this picture is on the Early Intervention site. My father-in-law also came up on the first page. ;)

Bad Habit: Messy House
What are you doing right now?: Getting ready to go to a movie
Grandmother's Name: Ethel
Past Pet: Sadie the black Cocker Spaniel

My first job: Fry jockey
Where I grew up: White Mountains, AZ
One of my favorite places: Sheep's Crossing, AZ
If I went back to school, I would: become an Intervener for Deafblind kids
Isn't this a beautiful picture? I got it from: http://www.helplaurenlearn.net

Place I would love to visit: Ireland
My favorite color: Neopolitan
Favorite Food: Cheesecake!
That was way fun! I'm tagging: Geoff, Mom, Angela, Kelly, Darrin, Melissa M., Aunt Colleen, Danica, Heidi, Christina, Melissa C., Nancy, Sophia, Kathryn, Jenny, Lisa and Cammie.

Monday, September 29, 2008

Hey, hey, Boo Boo!

I have an 8 year old daughter with disabilities, I'm always on the lookout for things that are going to help me be able to do everything I need to do for her. I've recently discovered a way to protect my back and keep it strong and healthy for all of the lifting I do day in and day out. Let's be honest, though, it's not just Becca, Mr. "Just because I CAN walk, doesn't mean I do it ALL the time!" plays a hefty part, too! Pun most definitely intended! ;)

I do Yoga!

And I love it! I have a pregnancy yoga video that I used to use, but I'd really only pull it out towards the end when I was way uncomfortable and trying to find a way to help sore muscles. A while ago, we were at Ross... yes, the dress for less one, and saw a yoga video for a few dollars. I LOVE IT! I always feel so good afterwards. It's very relaxing and slow, yet I end up pleasantly sore the next day because I really did get a workout. I am enjoying it more as I go and I can do the poses by listening to her instructions rather than having to try and look at the screen. My girls love to do it with me! Don't expect any video, though! I think I look pretty silly and we have a no poparazzi zone during yoga time! :D

I've talked to other Mom's with kids with disabilities and a lot of them have used and liked yoga, too. The whole point is that if you strengthen your core muscles... abs, etc.... then your back has the support it needs and all of the muscles work together to give you more lifting power! I don't care if I have washboard abs... I have 4 kids and I'm proud of my "Mommy body," but I've got to stay strong to be able to lift Becca for years to come. :)

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Zip! Bong!

Every day I'm reminded of how fast time flies! Today I read Sophia's blog and realized that little Ethan is not so little any more. I can remember like it was yesterday finding out what had happened to our precious angel Becca before she was even born. She was supposed to be safe and warm inside of me while she was growing... but, she wasn't. Right after she was born, we found out about a nasty virus that had damaged her, taken away some of our dreams, and left her in a body that didn't work right. Right after that, Sophia told us she was pregnant and I was scared to death! I didn't want to be the reason someone else's child had to be this way. Sophia, I cannot describe the strength you were to me because instead of staying the heck away from me, which is probably what you wanted to do at first, you educated yourself and then you kept on being such a good friend to me. You still held Becca and you still loved her and you kept on loving us. I don't know how hard that was for you, it probably wasn't because you have such a big heart, but it made ALL the difference to me! Thank you for not ditching me. Thank you for still loving Becca and holding her and snuggling her- even when she had to fit around your great big Ethan-belly. :D Thank you for being my friend. Thank you for accepting her and us for who we were and who we were becoming at that time.

I am truly grateful for you in my life! I found a bunch of pictures from that era in our lives and chose a few to share. :) I love you, Sophia!!

I have this picture tagged with your maiden name! :D
Our first pic of our new little friend. Remember how I begged you to call me, even if was in the middle of the night, when you went into labor? You did! I was so excited, I could barely get back to sleep!!
There is one happy kid!!
Here's Ethan at about a month old and Becca at about 9 months old. :D It's dated October 15, 2000
This one is dated January 14, 2001, which means that Becca had turned 1 the day before and Ethan was 4 months old!

Friday, September 12, 2008

One Hundred Things I Like (In absolutely no particular order)

1. Geoffrey
2. Rebecca Diana
3. Emily Danielle
4. Gracie Darla
5. Landon Geoffrey
6. Raspberry Lemonade
7. Walks through the cemetary
8. Babies!
9. Fixing other people's hair
10. Cheesecake
11. Dancing like nobody's watching
12. Sign Language
13. Hollyhocks
14. Puppies
15. Frank Sinatra
16. Doris Day
17. Colin Raye
18. SheDaisy
19. Church
20. Sewing for my kids
21. Writing
22. Hammon Family Reunions
23. Fresh cut grass
24. Chocolate Chip cookies
25. Vintage buttons
26. Board games
27. Email
28. Apple butter
29. Shoes without laces
30. Gardening
31. Fresh peaches
32. Fantasy/Romance novels
33. Pottery Barn Kids catalogs
34. Homegrown tomatoes
35. Parents magazine
36. Riding bikes
37. Typing really fast
38. My Mom
39. Going for walks
40. Painting my nails
41. Facebook
42. Reading Blogs
43. People magazine/website
44. Bleeding hearts (the flower)
45. Fruit pies
46. Sam's Club
47. Being an Aunt
48. Sitting around the camp fire
49. Old Navy
50. Peonies
51. Book stores
52. Relief Society
53. House hunting
54. Neighborhood sidewalks
55. Keeping in touch
56. Really long jeans
57. Brady Bunch re-runs
58. Lord of the Rings
59. Stephen's hot chocolate
60. Harry Potter books
61. Harry Potter movies
62. Brownies
63. Microwave popcorn
64. Beauty and the Beast
65. My new house
66. Backyard Basketball
67. The dollar store
68. Naps
69. Hanging out with extended family... ALL of them!!
70. Grandmas
71. Grandpas
72. Sisters in law
73. Brothers in law
74. Babies from above unions; i.e. Nieces and Nephews!!
75. D.I.
76. Brand new fabric
77. Serger thread
78. Yoga
79. Babies learning to walk
80. School
81. The Sims; Original and 2
82. Chicken and Stuffing casserole
83. Peanut butter and chocolate
84. Reading with my kids
85. Snuggling
86. Happy endings
87. Wet hair
88. Sour patch kids
89. Pajamas
90. Hugs
91. Blogging
92. iTunes
93. Machine Embroidery
94. Baby grins
95. Bean bags
96. Palm pilots
97. Baby kisses
98. Vanilla perfume
99. Curly hair
100. Freckles

You should try this! If you feel like being tagged, consider yourself tagged! ;)

Friday, August 29, 2008

Organized Chaos

I'm terrible at keeping this thing updated! I think of several blog posts I want to write every day, but finding the time is harder than it looks! :D Of course, my kids are fed, clothed and happy and that really is more important. ;)

We just started school again this year and so starts the battle of the bus. Probably for the next 13 years, as long as Becca is in school, we will have to battle with the bus. School starts for everyone the same; 9:00 am. Becca rides the bus in her chair and I can't leave the house until the bus gets here, but Emily needs to be at our neighborhood school by 9, too. I would LOVE to walk Emily to school (it is SO much cooler in the morning!), but generally the bus doesn't get here in time. I usually have to back the van out and park it around the corner so we can run to it as soon as Becca is on the bus. I've asked nicely and I'm sure she tries to get here a little earlier, but oh well. A morning or two, Geoff has stayed long enough to put Becca on so I could leave early enough to walk with the other three. But then he's home that much later. *shrug* We do the best we can! We always walk in the afternoon and come home dripping in sweat with headaches and everything else that goes along with getting overheated! At least I'm getting exercise!

Geoff sent me an article the other day that said that a study proved that it is better to be fat and healthy than thin and unhealthy. Geoff rides his bike to and from work every day and is losing inches even if muscle pounds are replacing fat pounds and he is in much better shape than I am. I get winded way faster than someone my size should. See? I've been telling you guys all along that being skinny is not all it's cracked up to be! ;) My endurance is way less than it could be. I have strong arms from lifting my heavy kids, but I get worn out walking or biking for too long. I'll get there!

I think my strongest gene influence must come from my Hammon family line. My Great-Grandpa Hammon was a farmer and a very hard worker and tall and lean. It came through him, his son and my Mom. I have that Hammon tenacity, too. :D I don't give up until the job is done right. I think that's why Heavenly Father sent me Becca. :D He knew I wouldn't give up! As my kids were running in and out this morning watching for the bus and getting ready for school, I got frazzled. I felt like there were so many of them and only one me! This happens a lot, I'll be honest. But, I just took a step back and located each one and gave them a charge that would keep them safe and where I knew where they were and took small bites until it was all managed. Survival some minutes, true enjoyment most minutes... that's sums me up mostly. :D

Well, there you go! A nice, random post to catch me up a little. :D I really do love reading the blogs of family and friends and I hope you enjoy mine once in a while. :D